About Me

My name is Debbie Kahng, and I am an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT) in California. My path to becoming a therapist has been shaped by years of working with individuals and families impacted by addiction, alcoholism, and codependency—and by my deep commitment to serving the LGBTQ+ community.

For over a decade, I worked in addiction treatment and family programs, where I witnessed firsthand how addiction affects not just the individual, but the entire relational system. Through this work, I came to understand addiction as an intergenerational illness—one that is often intertwined with trauma, codependency, and learned survival strategies passed down through families. Many people don’t realize they are carrying these patterns until they begin to feel stuck, exhausted, or disconnected from themselves and others.

As a queer-affirming therapist, I am especially passionate about supporting LGBTQ+ individuals and families who may be navigating addiction, codependency, religious trauma, identity exploration, or the lingering impact of growing up in environments where safety, authenticity, or emotional attunement were limited. I strive to create a therapeutic space that is affirming, compassionate, and grounded—where clients can explore both who they are and how they learned to cope.

One of the most formative moments in my own healing came during an equine-assisted therapy retreat. I was asked to walk a horse around a corral. Wanting everything to be “just right,” I tried repeatedly to guide her in a perfect circle—even when she clearly didn’t want to go that way. After several attempts, the equine therapist gently said, “Debbie, you’re not going to get a 1,000-pound horse to do what she doesn’t want to do.” Moments later, a gate opened, the horse took off, and I instinctively let go of the lead.

My therapist was thrilled. When I asked why, she said, “How many times have you been dragged through dirt, mud, and shards of glass by holding on too tightly in relationships?”

That moment taught me a lesson I carry into my work every day: Let go, or be dragged.

Letting go is simple when it’s a horse. It’s far more complicated when it’s someone you love—especially when addiction or unhealthy patterns are involved. Therapy is not about abandoning care or connection; it’s about learning how to stop gripping so tightly that you lose yourself in the process. The healthier and more grounded you become, the clearer and wiser your choices can be—for yourself and for the relationships you care about.

Thank you for being here. I look forward to walking alongside you in your healing.

— Debbie Kahng, AMFT